17 Triolets In Honor Of Patricia's 17th Birthday
Deep Blue (Triolet)One look into Patricia's eyessufficed to make me understandwhy God created Paradise.One look into Patricia's eyesand I was into being niceand good in girlhood's fairyland.One look...
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"good in girlhood's fairyland" - I like it!
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Thanx for stopping by, Gail!Here's another one I've composed in honor of Patricia:Used Denim (Triolet)~ Ad usum Patriciae I watched 'em walking down the street,the tightest thing for miles...
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I like the iambic feet idea.Feet's also a rhyme word in L3, which I don't think works in a triolet.In any case, I don't much like L3. You might do better developing beat as a counterpoint to the...
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Thanks for the nudge, David! I've rewritten Line 3 into:"girls' wear no vagary can beat."(Former version: "girls' wear that widens towards the feet.")Best Regards, Crispin
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Indulgenced Gift(s) Soon Patty will be seventeen--how could the world ignore the factand to surprise her not be keen!Soon Patty will be seventeen--each gift by well-wishers unseenremits huge sins by...
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Patricia SaysPatricia says she wasn't any goodthese past few years--she only used to teasethe boys she gave her very special look.Patricia says she wasn't any goodat staying interested like girls...
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Francesco Petrarca (1304-1374)His Laura would be more and he the lessPetrarca, poet laureate with allthe vanities of transient success.His Laura would be more and he the lessunworthy of the Virgin's...
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Hi Dutch,I am enjoying these - I hope your girl is coping with the poetic onslaught!I wondered about strengthening the contrast in the last one between living flesh and dead canvas -The WorksThe...
View ArticleRe: 17 Triolets In Honor Of Patricia's 17th Birthday
Thanx for thinking along, Alan! Much appreciated!As a matter of fact, Patty's rather overwhelmed by much of my poetry. But she likes me as a person! Hey -- I proudly present yet another one!...
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Mini PattyShe is so sweet, Patricia at the ageshe'd sit and hug a doll when feeling blue,in childhood pictures of an early page.She is so sweet, Patricia at the ageshe'd be the Virgin in an early...
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tudeThe way Patricia mounts her piano-stoolobliging me to lift the piano coverand be her servant pokerfaced and cool?The way Patricia mounts her piano-stoolshows she's no novice to a holy rule!That's...
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Reading PattyNo doubt, my greatest read is Patty's mind,those precious moments I am suffered toperuse what's there to see even for the blind!No doubt, my greatest read is Patty's mind:there's not a...
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Classic BicycleI love to see you on your old-time bike,the Dutch equivalent to witches' brooms!As though you're hovering--quite ladylike!I love to see you on your old-time bike,a granny bike fit for...
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The Very First Patrician KissShe could have given me the kiss of life,that odd and fateful night she grabbed my headas though she were my faithful future wife!She could have given me the kiss of...
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All The Things She DidPatricia took me to her cuddly bed,untied my shoes, and went for aspirin:sweet acts of love still running through my head!Patricia took me to her cuddly bed,and made me...
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On Closing This Time Capsule:Patty & The Very, Very Old ManShe sat, and stretched her legs, close to his chair,just being there, in elfin boots and all--just intimating pretty girls do care...She...
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Hi! I like Classic Bicycle a lot. I think maybe there is a misprint in Etude. L6.No? And I like Used Denim. Iambic feet! Gail
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Thanx, Gail! No, it wasn't a misprint -- just bad grammar! I've rewritten the line in question!Best Wishes, Crispy Duck
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Crispy Duck-Etude is better. Your writing is excellent (esp. considering English isn't your native tongue)!Gail
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